Saturday, March 7, 2009

¡Vámonos! (alternate title: Barf)

You have GOT to be joking me. Chris just saw this on NY1 and called out to me, "Um, you're not gonna like this..."

Nickelodeon and Mattel are giving Dora the Explorer a tween makeover. Meant for girls five and up, the new, leggier Dora will supposedly allow girls to grow up with their favorite character. From the news clip, it doesn't seem like preschool Dora is going anywhere (I mean, if I had little ones, I'd be totally sick of the "backpack" song, but thank GOD), still I'm wondering how this new Dora will fly.

The hot new toy in this line is meant to be the Dora Links doll, which will allow girls to plug into an online Dora world.

According to Mattel Marketing VP Gina Sirard: “The doll really taps into a tween’s love of fashion and empowers girls to influence and change the ‘lives’ of Dora and her friends.” But I thought this doll was made for girls five and up? Five?! Sure, I had a love of fashion at five—if by fashion you mean pairing my mother's wedding veil with a sweet 60s jean jacket from my dad's closet, but I don't think that's what the new Dora's about.

I'm guessing her new face won't be far from the vomit-inducing faces of the Bratz dolls, and that the "mysteries" girls solve in the new online world will somehow involve Dora exploring a mall rather than say, a rainforest. The writers at Packaging Girlhood likewise doubt that the older Dora will stay true to the younger one—follow the link to read their take.

Dudes at Nick, I know you cannot touch the sales of Hannah Montana merch. No one can. No one can package and sell a teenage girl like Disney, so let's leave it to them. One company doing it is enough. As I understand it, preschool Dora sales are great...so why can't we just be happy about that? Legions of children are running around using the new Spanish they've learned from Dora. Zillions of little girls are now wishing they had a funky monkey sidekick to help them read maps and save the world. But that's about to go down the drain.

Maybe I'm being too gloom-and-doom about this, but I have little faith that any good can come from this makeover. To read the full press release, hop over to BusinessWire. Featured image by BusinessWire.

4 comments:

  1. Oh, Christ. The trend to get as many small children into the internet world is really beginning to trouble me. With the amount of articles about online predators, identity theft, and "cyber bullying" already flooding the news I don't see why people are so intent on things like these. Cutesy children sites bring together the mind of a child and the mind of a(most likely) technically ignorant parent and cause an unbelievable amount of paranoia. It's just not healthy, coming from someone who has seen the best and worst of today's cyber community.

    And that's all without touching about the real world impact of even more 7~12 year old girls dressing like college cheerleaders.

    Whatever happened to the old Disney princesses? Hell, even I have a list of favorite ones.

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  2. For real. Who is at the top of the favorite Disney princess list? BTW, Disney Princess "brand" merch sells like hotcakes. The princesses may not all be the best role models, but I think the old stories as more or less harmless, so long as girls aren't only exposed to passive role models. As far as Disney goes, I guess Belle read every book in the library and was not afraid of monsters. And Mulan dressed as a man and rode into battle...definitely worse stuff out there. There's going to be a new Disney princess: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17524865/

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  3. Jasmine, but only as told by the original Aladdin, still fighting with The Little Mermaid as my immortal "I can watch this at any time" movie.

    The new film looks interesting to say the least, but the description "an American fairy tale" is slightly off-putting.

    I'm such a girl.

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  4. The Bratz dolls are SERIOUSLY terrifying. You can guess which little girl I know is obsessed with them... the giant heads, bleached straw-like hair, pageant eye makeup, doe-like submissive eyes, pouty half-open lips, and lingerie-like outfits... so. Freaking. Inappropriate.

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