Groundhog Anniversary

Happy Groundhog Day, everyone! This is a fun day for me because exactly 1 year ago today, Chris and I decided to get married at City Hall here in NYC, while in the midst of planning our October bash. At the time, I said Groundhog Day was appropriate because we were going to get married again (dorky joke if you've seen the Bill Murray film). It was the day Staten Island Chuck bit Michael Bloomberg.

And it was the day these photos were taken. I made a last-minute decision on my outfit and scored $10 rings for the ceremony the day before at the Cinderella Club on 34th Street. And my parents and one of my brothers spent a whirlwind day in NY!

As we were about to get on the subway, my dad said, "Shouldn't you have some flowers?" So we ran into a flower shop under the 7 train and told the confused woman I was getting married (now) and needed flowers! The $5 white daisies lasted for AGES.
There are 6 more weeks of winter ahead. Oh, well. February 2nd will always be extra-fun for me.

Unexpected wedding perk

Well, it's hard to believe, but we're one month into our marriage! Way back at the beginning of our engagement, I couldn't fathom how we were going to plan and pull off a wedding. I'd heard so many horror stories about how it becomes a full-time job ("Say what? I already have one of those!").

So we left ourselves a year and a half. That worked for us, because up until the end, we were able to work on one. thing. at. a. time. And we definitely did a lot! I'm realizing 2 important things now in the aftermath of wedding planning:

1) I can jam way more productive stuff into my days than I previously thought I could.

2) Doing all of the creative projects for the wedding felt great.

Yes, I'm loving being married to my best friend, but there's an unexpected perk: I'm experiencing a post-wedding creative high. I'm making sure that I keep devoting ample time to creative projects, now that I've realized how much I can handle at once. I've already got a list!

Image: Chris working with the homemade letterpress. Awesome creative project that unfortunately was not efficient enough to create all of our invites.

Reception fun

Finally, folks, some details from the reception!

We ate dinner upstairs in the 2nd floor ballroom. Our favors were little bookmarks, designed by Chris. Tassels tied by me and Chris.

We chose the books for our centerpieces over the course of our engagement, from The Strand and also from the gold mine known as my grandma's garage. Guests took home books, which were stamped inside with the little "Beth & Chris" doodad from the bookmark. The candles sprang from an idea Chris had. My mom made the idea reality by stamping text on vellum and wrapping the votive holders (aka glasses from Wal-Mart) with it.

Chris's bro, the best man, gave a terrific speech.

I was touched. And cracked up a bunch, too. Like when he told the story about the French guy in Indonesia who referred to me solely as "Muppet" during a day-long biking trip.

He said he learned from us that we have to carve out our own little corner of the world and fill it with love and books and film and music...and cats. The parents and grandparents liked that. (Including Chris's 92-year old grandma who came from Australia!)

We ate our dinners. I had the veggie options: butternut squash soup and mushroom ravioli. We said thank-you's, I presented my mom with my bouquet, and we cut our cake.

We meant to cut it with the knife from my mom and dad's wedding, but it was left down in the building's basement. Oops. Nonetheless, it was delicious (chocolate w/chocolate fudge filling). And the quote was perfect. "Forever is composed of nows." –Emily Dickinson

We moved on to dancing downstairs on the 1st floor. We had a guestbook labeled "who" and various notebooks, writing instruments, and prompts throughout the room: what is your favorite book?; where did you travel from to join us?; when (below); why did the chicken cross the road?

We got terrific answers in all of the books. The little children wrote prolifically, while sometimes off-topic.

For our first dance, our friend Anna played guitar and sang.

We all danced. And the children charmed the dickens out of everyone!

We had a great wedding day. Thanks to everyone who was there for us, and everyone who wished us well from afar!

P.S. Once again, professional pics by Julie Kuceris. Blurrier ones by miscellaneous wedding guests :)

My ring

As promised, the story behind my ring...

Chris's great-grandfather, living in South Africa, gave this ring to Chris's great-grandmother before going off to fight in World War I. The story has a happy ending—he returned and they were married in 1918. The ring was passed to Chris's grandmother, then his mother. Guess I have to be prepared to part with it if we have a daughter!

The ring is about to undergo some transformations. I've been extremely reluctant to do even one thing to it, but at the urging of my mother-in-law and 2 highly respected NYC jewelers, I've got to have the settings re-done. Apparently the stones are are too small for the settings they're in, and have shifted over the years. I've been having trouble finding someone who will agree to keep the look and character of the ring basically the same.

I love this ring to death, but believe it or not, I've had a few "snooty" comments while wearing this—about how I should have the stones cleaned or about how I can always buy myself a "nice" diamond later in marriage. Oy. The stones are clean, but they don't blind you like today's diamonds (we've learned how to optimize light reflection with laser cuts). They were hand-cut. They were meant to sparkle in candlelight—and they do! I've also had a few random compliments on the ring during low-lit dinners. As for "nice"...I couldn't have dreamed up a ring that I would like better.

As mentioned in the ceremony post, I decided to forego a separate wedding band. Because of the ring's twisty shape, I'd have to really have something made to specifically fit around it. And when I already love the ring itself, it seemed unnecessary to go to the trouble of having a whole separate piece of jewelry made. This symbolizes absolutely everything I want it to. So that's where the nerdy Lord of the Rings joke comes from. It is my "one ring."

Ceremony

Hello, friends...we're back from our wedding/honeymoon hiatus! I can't resist reliving it all a little, so my next few posts will include some highlights.

It was a dark and stormy day.

Over the week, we watched the weather report go from great to okay to apocalyptic. We had to nix the outdoor ceremony planned for here...

But everyone kept telling us it was good luck to get married on a rainy day. So we posted this:

And we moved to Plan B: Indoor ceremony. Built in 1896, the building features a lot of dark, rich wood and actually felt quite cozy. The violinists were playing Bach, more beautifully than I could have imagined it.

The guys waited upstairs. After a small disaster with the wheat boutonnieres (which were meant to be tiny, but showed up that morning long enough to stab out an eye!), they pinned the trimmed-down versions to their lapels.

The bridesmaids and bridesmen* (my 2 brothers, their term!) made their entrances. The girls had JCrew dresses and the guys had ties to match. (Dear friend and youngest bro. How much are you digging his current shaggy hairdo??):

Dad and I tried to remember to walk slowly down the aisle, lined with great-smelling potted mums. My mom wrapped them in paper and my brother helped her tie the ribbons. The bouquets (mums, berries, and wheat) were ordered through the supermarket.

Our friends read from Thoreau (here's a snippet) and read a transcript of this adorable Sesame Street sketch about marriage. I had some reservations about mixing work and my wedding, but I've always loved Grover and always will, quite outside the context of work.

We read our own vows. I was floored by Chris's. We exchanged rings. Chris's ring was done through the Clay Pot in Brooklyn, by Jerry Spaulding. I opted to keep my engagement ring as my "one ring" (and made that nerdy Lord of the Rings joke every time someone asked about my wedding band). More about my ring later.

And we were married!!

Some time before the ceremony, we each realized independently that we'd never practiced the "wedding kiss." And now I'm super-glad...because it was 100% perfect and in the moment. What do you think about practicing wedding kisses??

P.S. Hairpiece was from Etsy, and my awesome mom did my hair!

P.P.S. Wedding day photos by Julie Kuceris. She darted around getting great shots and was SUPER-stealth!

Mexico

OK, I'm not going to be on the Interwebs for long, but it is still early and I'm hanging around in my PJs and the sun has just finished coming up over the ocean. Which I can see from my room. Holy cow.

We are good and married and so happy that so many of our loved ones could be there to witness it. Now, we're winding down from all the planning. So far, Mexico highlights include: complimentary chocolate-covered strawberries (for honeymooners), guacamole made at your table, and not 1, but 2 iguana sightings.

All moons should be honey moons. Why do we need a crescent (well, Pilsbury rolls can stay), a gibbous...why must any moon wax or wane?

Image above of Trader Joe's Honey Moon wine. I rather like it for $5 a pop!

Holy crap, my friends are cool

Finally caught up with my recently engaged friend Steph and found out that she's booked her wedding venue: the Newport Aquarium near her hometown in Kentucky. If their guest count falls within the accepted range, she and her fiancee David will be tying the knot in front of the shark tank. Awesome.

21 days

Whoa, 21 days til the wedding! Lots of stuff is done, done, done. At this point, I'm a little worried about leaving work for so long. There are only 2 of us...so my poor boss will be drowning in the madness on her own. HR still hasn't posted our internship description, so I'm gonna start talking to colleges myself. (And if you know any terrific editorial, early childhood ed., and/or graphic design types in NYC, who also happen to be full-time college students, puh-lease let me know!)

It's been a good week, even though we were rained out at the US Open. (That was sad, but I did see Rafael Nadal play tennis in real life for 2 sets, which was not sad. The speed of the ball and the players' remarkable reflexes just don't fully come across on TV.)

Next weekend, I get to try on my wedding dress (yet again). I think at this point they are finished altering it and may let me take it home. There is something so weird about putting a lot of time into looking for a dress and then not having it in your possession until 2 weeks before the wedding. I wish they'd change that—how are you supposed to dance around in it when your fiancee is not home and/or pick matching earrings and the right length of necklace?

Anyway, off to Book Club and to do city errands. I shall leave you with a SNEAK PEEK of the dress...

One month

The "one-month-til-the-wedding" card I got from Jenn. A nutter-butter day on the work front. A kind of stressful day on the wedding front, too, when I got sticker shock looking at our revised caterer contract. (But Chris did the math and we figured out that there is still extra stuff factored in and that it is fine in reality). Just looked back at this card and I cracked up!

Pre-wedding fun

Seems like we're in wedding overdrive lately, but there is a lot of fun leading up to this!

Exhibit A, drinking with my mom and aunts in Providence:

Exhibit B, Waterfire in Providence (through a slightly drunken lens):

Exhibit C, Cats love early wedding presents wrapped in paper.

Funnest activity ever

I am such a bad blogger lately! Well, we've been working away on wedding projects and I've started playing violin with a quirky sorta rock band, so I've been away from the computer quite a bit.

I have been dying to write about how much fun I've been having receiving response cards for the wedding. People have been so creative! We've received:

-beautiful drawings

-a "love" prayer card

-glitter

-smiley face stickers (from my grandma!)

-a card featuring funny ostriches (from Chris's grandparents!)

and the #1 most creative response...

-the bookmark card tucked inside Before You Leap, a book of sage advice "by" Kermit the Frog. The bookmark marked a passage about "finding your Fozzie"—your partner in crime, your all-weather, always bud.

(My dad wanted to respond that he could not attend because "I'm working that day," but my mom wouldn't let him write that. Haha.)

I should invite people to stuff all the time so I can keep getting fun mail every day. It is such an absolute treat to get home and leaf through the replies, taking in the different handwriting and little notes. I love our friends and family.

Invites drying

Wedding plans are officially in full swing! Invites are out and guests are RSVPing. I'd mentioned a while ago that we were making our own invites. Well, the vision changed a bunch of times, but we came up with something we love and had tons of fun during our little arts and crafts times.

Erin posted beautiful photos of the finished product, preserving the little details forever. And here are a few glimpses of the invites in progress. At the top, the stamped ink drying. Below, the ink on the envelopes drying in our bedroom. 

De-sensitization

Remember how I cry at everything, even dog food commercials? So, I've been somewhat concerned that I'll sob through my vows and generally be a red, puffy mess at the wedding. I don't know if there's any real cure for being emotional, but I have prescribed myself a de-sensitization regimen. It is somewhat working. SOMEWHAT. I only teared up at a friend's wedding recently, but I sorta credit the bride's brother, who was making everyone laugh.

If you, too, would like to follow my regimen, you just need to repeatedly expose yourself to things that make you cry. *Note: This only applies to happy, "that's so beautiful" crying. Not sad crying.

Here's a sample diet of tearjerkers:

1) Bach Double Violin Concerto, 2nd Mvmt. This will be playing as I walk down the aisle. I find thinking about playing the notes on the violin helps me not cry.

2) The Where the Wild Things Are trailer. Gets me every time! I know I've been unsuccessful with this one because I saw it last weekend before Harry Potter and lost to the tears.

3) Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova's Oscar speech. Still losing this one. It starts when Glen raises his Oscar and repeats "Make art, make art," and comes back with Marketa's "No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible...fair play to those who dare to dream."

The hope is that repeated exposure will reduce my emotional response each time, or at least teach me how to successfully trick myself out of crying. Any criers out there with tricks that work??

Gal on the Flying Trapeze

Did anyone check out Meg's post about her kickass bachelorette party? She went skeet shooting. I got to do this in New Zealand and it was awesome.

I heard about another rad bachelorette party through a girl at work: a group trapeze lesson. Trapeze School of New York does lessons for parties. Genius!

image via TSNY

Quick visit

Well, only 2 days in Rhode Island brought a wedding dress fitting, some catering decisions, and a minister to perform our ceremony. It also brought visits to staples such as The Crow's Nest and The Mews Tavern. (I wasn't going to link to The Crow's Nest's website because it is so bad, but decided I had to for precisely that reason. Once you get through the intro, you get to click on quahogs to navigate the site.)

I hadn't been to The Mews in ages and had forgotten how much I love the ceilings, lined with dollar bills and white Christmas lights, and the creative tap handles—this place boasts a famous 69 brews on tap. See above for my favorite tap of the night, the Red Sox-themed Green Monsta Ale. And the sampler board is a must: mini glasses of any 4 brews (your choice!) neatly arranged in a little wooden test tube rack.

I missed little ol' Rhode Island. It was good to see everyone and to be in the kinds of places where someone you know could walk in at any moment (and my cousin did walk into the bar while we were there)! I somehow always feel like my best self when I visit. Next time I just have to make sure my dad doesn't rope Chris into vacuuming the pool...

Wedding Zen

Well, we're off to RI this weekend to spend time with the fam and cross some wedding stuff off our list. I've hit a very Zen level of wedding-thinking lately. It may be short-lived; we'll see. As often detailed on A Practical Wedding, it is very easy in the planning process to simultaneously feel that you must conform to a "traditional" standard, and, depending on the crowd you run with, to pull off an event so hip and unique it could hardly be called a wedding. 

I am marrying the most wonderful man who puts much thought and care into wedding details, but I do think the woman ends up feeling more acutely the pressure to "pull it off" in a particular way—it's almost always assumed that the details are a reflection of her tastes and that the management of the event must have to do with her, too (does this date back to worrying if the lady can manage a household? Am I making this up?). This is why so many vendors prey on brides (I'll save that for another post). Anyway.

My new level of thinking: Event? What is this, the Oscars? In wanting the wedding to reflect us, I think it's easy to start feeling like it somehow defines us. Not so, of course. I like to break it down really simply: We dress up, get married, eat food, drink, dance. That all sounds really fun to me. And our family always has a good time partying...even when we do stupid stuff like have Lego car building contests or make Christmas ornaments out of Sculpey clay. 

So, simple. Happy. It ain't rocket science. In fact, I'm thinking of posting the wedding checklist I made when we first got engaged—simple, one-word, broad items to cross out. I've been using it this entire time. Stay tuned (and stay chill)!

What the what?!

I came home to a six-foot assemblage of metal pipes in our study last night. "What the what?" I asked. 

"I am building a letterpress!" said the boy. Apparently he got inspired when saw me drooling over some letterpressed cards on our last visit to the paper store.

No idea yet as to whether it will actually be used for wedding-type projects...but who doesn't love a boy building a letterpress? 

LOVE

I have discovered that I absolutely LOVE programming wedding ceremony music. Once one breaks away from the Pachelbel Canon, worlds of beautiful possibilities unfold. Don't get me wrong, it sure is a lovely piece, but musicians become burned out on it at an early age. The guy below knows what I'm talking about. Anyway, if'n any of you should be gettin' hitched and in need of a lovingly crafted violin-filled program, send me a note. It brings me so much happiness to imagine the scene and set the tone. (Backup career? I could change my backup list, even though I already told Chris that my backup careers, in order, are: calligraphy, fire eating, violin. But I think I only love doing this so much for people I know, when I can be sure it will suit their tastes.)

Bach at ya

I recently confirmed that 2 of my former high school orchestra-mates will be able to play (excerpts from) the 2nd movement of the Bach Double Violin Concerto at the wedding. This is the one and only thing I had ever imagined about my wedding when I was younger.

I've been listening to the piece on the way to work. Today, as my fingers itched to hit the notes of each part, I became overwhelmed by the fact that I know how to play the violin. Every once in a while, this fact bowls me over with disbelief, happiness, and gratitude.

More done-ness

As much as I'd love to play violin myself on October 3rd, I'm going to be a little busy getting married, so I had to find someone else. At least one violinist from my old high school and youth orchestras is up for the job! I may decide to have 2 violins, if we opt for the Bach piece I've been imagining. And there's a second violinist available if so. Yay!

I didn't hire Roger. He only auditioned for the part of sleeping in a violin case, which he obviously got.